Equal Opportunity Affirmative Action

With the debate going on about the quota stirs let me take a stand. Some dumb guy with 35% lands a coveted seat in one of the esteemed colleges and a hard working soul with 85% is denied that opportunity, just because of his caste. Hello wake up this is 21st century - this bull shit sounds so unreal but alas thats the fact.

A joke going around the aiims campus - manmohan singh says to Bush that we plan to send 100 people to space. Bush asks who are those 100 and mr singh replies
25% SC, 25% ST, 20% OBC, 2% Kashmiri Quota,4% Sports Quota, 5% Defence Quota,19% general Quota and may be 2 astronauts.

The Legend Returns Without The Ball

Well this was the caption i saw on the freeway while i was driving back from work. An ad for Texas Lotto aka lottery. Gazing out of my office window everday i see a sign which shows its current value - presently a cool $ 9 million. I wish i could get all that moolah. But the irony is i want the money but i dont buy a ticket :)

Send this to "xx" number of people and your wish will be granted

Holy Lord. I never knew god would keep a track of number of emails i forwards. guess god or rather gods have lot of time in their hands.

i dont understand how this thing works. could any of the wise and loyal followers of this blog throw some light on this :)
the funniest part is people click on the reply to all and you end up getting hell lot of "same" mails. i remember back home i used to get these mails that nokia would give free phones if you send this mails.

The latest one doing rounds is " send to 6 people and the person whom u love will pop up on the screen". Has artificial intelligence levels risen so high that it can guess what a person thinks ? suggestions welcome

Becoming Richie Rich !!!

I don't understand the goal of people becoming rich without working their arses off (unless born with a silver spoon). I'm a firm believer of the saying "No gains without pains".

Out of blue, i met this guy at Walmart while doing my grocery. Pleasantries were exchanged and then he started the bullshit - yapping bout some "ecommerce" projects for fortune 500 companies in addition to his full time job and their need for like minded people like me. I was like wow, shoppin is the time when someone wants to hire you for a fortune 500 company :) sounds funny rather insane. All my senses including the otherwise dormant sixth one kicked in and started screaming " this is one of those chain companies (get 1 and they will get 1 and so on... you reach higher in the hierarchy and become rich)

The guy said he would retire in 4 years whereas i would be working all my life. He was so damn worried bout my financial status and blabbering all sorts of stuff. "Ecommerce" included energy bars, detergents and what not. even though im not a IT guy i still know that ecommerce is not this.

He wanted me to attend one of his so called brain storming sessions.I was so irritated that i walked away. Do you think this schemes of becoming rich work ?? well in my short life span i haven't seen or known anyone who has become rich but i know people becoming poorer and wiser :)

The great Murphy and his flawless laws

I was reading some of these laws and they seem to be so apt and true to the real world. Some of them are as follows:

1. In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.
2. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
3. Every solution breeds new problems.
4. The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
5. No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
   
6. Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten.
7. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

And finally the best one :

Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Part 2 - My thoughts, experiences and search for better half

Till now the girls’ parents used to “interview” me and as I passed their pre-requisites they invited me. My ego got a huge boost with the number of calls I got.

In pursuit of my better half, I met some of the prospective brides. Their views were revelation to me, one told that she was not ambitious, other mentioned her parents didn’t allow her to find a job and finally one mentioned her hobby was to help her mother in the kitchen. As many of u know me I asked the gal, her mother won'tbe there so whom would she help??

During my visits I was given a royal treatment after all I “might” turn out to be their "future " son in law. If I didn’t like their daughter I used to get guilty feeling that im eating their delicious food. This routine of visiting gals continued for 4 times and I was exhausted and refused to visit any more. For this, the brokers (refer to previous post) had a comment: “the guy is from America so he is comparing the girls in VJA with them.” I was like what the heck.

Finally lady luck smiled on me, and thanks to my good fortune i managed to find my better half. Thanks to all my friends, family who supported through this exciting, funny, scary and interesting process.

Part 1 - My thoughts, experiences and search for better half

The arduous process of bride hunting started around 3 months back with my parents pestering for pictures. Every conversation I tried to have started and ended in, son where r the pictures. They specifically wanted ones in which I look very fair J

Credit goes to my rommie MOPA who took pains to shoot my pictures at all exotic locations in our apartment complex. Once the pictures reached India, my parents embarked on a journey of short listing the elite “eligible” few. It was like customize and build your wife.

The journey from Houston to Bombay took 19 hrs and from there to Vijayawada took 24 long hrs. I was amazed to see the organized marriage broker clan. Their supply chain management is strong enough to give any logistics company a run for their money. They have business cards with 2%, 3%, 5% and I was like what’s that?? It’s their commission which is a percentage of the dowry. Nice business opportunityJ. Are venture capitalists listening??

The brokers organized a separate folder for each of the eligible “brides” based on profession: engineers, mba’s, mca’s and graduates. Sounds like some sort of search engine capabilities.

Gal important or dowry?? Was a question asked by some brokers. What a question !!!.

When the girl’s or rather girls’ parents visited me, I was advised to apply powder and “Fair & Lovely”. I was like what guy in the right senses would apply powder. So they were like there is this new product for guys “Fair & Handsome”. Huh!! I don’t understand this fascination for fair skin. Is beauty just skin deep??

At a given time there were 3 different brokers and 2 girl’s parents interviewing me in the same room. You can imagine my embarrassment. The interview questions ranged from how much I make for a living to what stage of green card process am I in and the absence of “state tax” in Texas. I was glad that they didn’t ask my GPA or W2 forms. They are so knowledgeable. Credit for this goes to CM Naidu.

To be continued…….

Why is wife called as better half ???