Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the

Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to

decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Kish Jr.

Kish Jr. has arrived.
wohooooooo !!!!

हर्षा भोगले अत आईआईएम A

Rajani Mera Guru, Rajani Mera Style

This is Copied from my friend Siddhu's Blog

• Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
• Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
• Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
• Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
• Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
• When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,............ he turns the dark off.
• When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
• Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
• The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
• Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
• Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
• A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
• Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
• If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
• Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
• Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
• Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
• Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
• Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
  Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
• Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
  It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
• Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
• Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
• With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
• The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
• When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
• Rajnikant has counted to infinity - twice.
• When Rajnikant does a pushup. He isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing earth down.
• Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
• Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
• Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boiled the water with his own rage.
• If you Google Search 'Rajnikant getting kicked'. you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
• Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.
• Rajnikant's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
• Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way.
  

Daal mey kuch kaala hai

Desi Store

2lbs Toor Dal - $ 7.99

Do i need to say more !!!

Boondein - Silk Route

This song feels so fresh !!!!

khoi ho,

Yadoo mai,

palko pe bondein liye

aaina bani

keah aakhe tere,

dheme see, khushboo hai,

havoo ke jhoke ne joo

chu kae tujhe churai

Sanso ki, raho mei,

kya mil saken ge kabhi

dhoonde tujhe nighen hai mere

sathi the, janmo see,

raho mai kyou kho gaye,

manzil hume bulane lagi,

hey.....

nagma hoo.. bheega sa,

ya tum ho koi ghazal

har pal jise gungana tha rahu,

hothe see, hole see,

sargam jo bhene lagi,

gaane lagi, chahen mere

hey….

Culinary Skills or Lack of it

Although Guestau says "Everyone Can Cook" in the movie Ratatouille, i tend to strongly disagree with him.

Some of the actual stories / experiments i heard have ended in utter disaster.

A friend asked me the recipe of how to cook rice. That prompted me to invite him over for dinner rather than disclose the "secret" recipe.

There was this another instance when one of my acquaintance was trying to prepare tea. He literally filled 3 cups with milk and was about to add the tea powder when someone stopped and explained him the difference between preparing tea and coffee.

There was this occasion when we were new to this country and used dhania powder and thought it was garam masala for close to 6 months.

The other common errors included not having gasket on the cooker lid, starting the burner and putting the vessel on a differnt burner and using salt instead of sugar (damn.. both look similar)

Cooking is an art which needs to be mastered while eating comes very natural !!

Good one !!!

There was a good old barber in Bombay . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:

I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a 'Thank You' Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another 'Thank you' Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......

Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ... .
(Believe me it's worth it!!!!!!!!!!)


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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free
haircut... with Printouts of
forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut

Finding the right gal

Dedicated to all the single friends waiting or in process to step onto the other side.

All the best.........:)

Lazy Me

Too many embedded posts in the recent past.
Need to get back to some actual "real" posts.
Posts are on the way.

Too much into Technology - Enjoy!!!!!

Funny...

Do i need to say more !!!!

Blues, Blues - Men in blues

India beat Bangaladesh in the second test

The men in blue seem to have regained their lost pride :):)or atleast they think so.
Thrashing the minnows by an innings have made our cricket crazy nation forget the World Cup debacle.

Endorsements, Advertisements, Modeling, Contracts and so on.... will follow.

And so they lived happily every after.

Purani Jeans aur Guitar

Thanks to my good old friend from MGM - Ashu who introduced me to this wonderful song.

Every word of this song seems so true....

Random Thought

"Practice makes a man perfect" - but what about women ??

12 Angry Men

This was the movie which i watched over the weekend. I am trying to follow the top 250 movies at IMDB .I couldn't help writing this post to appreciate the extraordinary way a simple plot is presented. The movie starts on a dull note but captivates the viewers attention as it goes on.

There is not even a single women leave alone actress in the movie !!!

Ok i won't act as a spoilsport and disclose the contents of the movie.
Watch it for yourselves.

Go Rockets!!!

Venue : Toyota Center, Houston
Game : Rockets Vs Pistons

Last Thursday, Toyota Center was blessed with our presence for the regular season NBA game # 35 of the Houston Rockets. This was our first instance of watching a game live - unlike our previous experiences which were limited to the idiot box.

Zooming past the notorious Houston traffic, to our surprise we managed to reach the venue early and finding the perfect parking spot was our next priority. To accomplish this, while manuevering the one way streets in downtown, a BMW whizzed pass our Altima and this nice, sweet lady popped her head out and offered an official parking tag saying that she had one too many. Our parking woes were solved and we were parked in the official parking lot, just an escalator's ride away from our destination.

The atmosphere inside was electrifying. A lot of crowd was of Asian descent. This could be attributed to Yao Ming of Bejing, China. This 7'6" tall, taller,tallest player of NBA plays for our home team.

" Go Rockets "

The game started with Houston leading initially and the lead gradually going southward for the rest of the three quarters. With 'our strong cheering' and presence Houston managed to maintain its nerve finally.

The final score read 91-85 in favor of Rockets.
Hoping to see them again during the playoffs....

Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech - 2005

STAY HUNGRY, STAY FOOLISH.

Anniversary "Blues"

Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

Behold your breath.

Time flies and yours truly has successfully completed one full a.k.a golden year of marital bliss. I remember my friend commenting how the words 'marital' and 'bliss' can go together. Well said my friend,i would let your gray cells do the thinking after all your gonna fall into this trap soon.

I took the day off (without her knowlegde) and decided to cook for my beloved 'atleast' for that 1 day and fate had it the other way - she took the day off (without my knowlegde) and thought the same.

There were two cooks and 1 kitchen. So a mediterranean restaurant was given the opportunity to serve us as "Two many cooks spoil the broth"

Its an open secret that im being supersized (see my previous post)

The lessons learnt this year are as follows:

1)The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

2)The best way to a women's heart is through innumerable shopping sprees.

3)Laugh and she laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone !!!.

Hope my better half is not reading this.....

SuperSized Me

The most conspicuous and visible change after marital bliss is growth in the waistline and appearance of what is called in plain english "TUMMY".

Accept or Deny this - a fact based on personal experience.

I still proudly flaunt denims of 30 waist but they now rest below the so called tummy .So technically i might be wearing the same ones but the actual size is different.

In addition to this the occasional visits to the gym are becoming rare phenomenons.

In McDonalds terminology im being "SuperSized".